You goddamn f**king idiot…just breathe!”
Imagine you jolt out of your sleep one morning, and you feel invisible hands choking you. Imagine someone’s long, strong hands, gripping your throat while you struggle to breathe. The walls close in on you. You want to cry out but you can’t. Everything that happened in your life till now, rushes by you and you can only blame yourself for everything that went wrong.
The invisible hands now tighten their grips. Your heart starts beating fast and you realize it’s going to burst soon.
You don’t know what to do. Except for silently crying, and wishing for a way out till the light at the end of the tunnel becomes visible.
And while you’re waiting…your only wish is to go back in time and start over.
But you know it’s not possible. So you wait, albeit anxious, scared and in pain…while the light fizzles out & you slip into a bottomless slumber.
You wake up a few minutes/hours later and remember the terrifying experience that you had. Reliving the memory is scary but more than that, it’s painful. And you breathe easy now, because it’s over and life seems to be normal.
Except that it isn’t.
Next morning, you wake up in the dark abyss again. And, again. And, again.
And then one fine morning, when the invisible hands have choked you till black and blue, you realize, that it’s not going to stop. Ever. It’s going to happen again, and again, and again.
You’re stuck in a vicious cycle and you don’t know the way out.
The light at the end of the tunnel is a distant dream now. You’re too afraid to fall asleep because you know what’s waiting for you when you wake up. Every. Single. Day.
Welcome to my world!
This is not the beginning of a sci-fi movie. By all means, this is not a fictional account.
I’ve lived these episodes for everyday for a definitive period of time. And, NO, I’m not crazy nor am I mad. I suffer from a medical condition, ‘popularly’ known as Anxiety Disorder. And I want to share to my story with all of you, so that you can help yourself and those you care for.
Let the silent suffering stop here …